It doesn’t make sense to me that it is somehow June already and today marks eleven months without Heidi. I had had a decent couple of days, being productive, feeling grateful and hopeful and then the first thought in my head this morning was ‘why didn’t someone do something for my baby’ and my griefContinue reading “That was a year ago”
Tag Archives: child loss
Always
This pandemic is very distracting. Nothing about my life was normal in the first place, but now it is even less so and routines have changed again. I am grateful that so far none of my loved ones are sick, I am grateful to have all this extra time with the girls who are handling thisContinue reading “Always”
Fate got it wrong
Fate got it wrong, you weren’t meant to go You needed your Muma, didn’t she know? My heart still beats, but it’s not real It may still work, but it forgot how to feel Fate got it wrong, I should be there too But you have come to see me, I know that is true Continue reading “Fate got it wrong”
Something positive
All I ever wanted was for something positive to come out of Heidi’s untimely death and today I have achieved that with an article for the BBC, radio and TV coverage. This article is the fruit of the work that Sepsis Research and SpiFox have been doing behind the scenes for months. I have beenContinue reading “Something positive”
A rocky path
Grief is a very personal journey and we travel this rocky path in our own unique way. We won’t feel the same as someone else who is grieving, even if we are grieving the same person and often people don’t understand the things we do that help us with processing and releasing our feelings. From allContinue reading “A rocky path”
2020
New Years Eve is always a day of reflection for me. What was good about the previous year, what was not, what I achieved, what I learned and what I could have done better. Reflecting on 2019 is quite simple, for the first part of the year I had everything I had ever hoped andContinue reading “2020”
Christmas
To all of you that are preparing yourselves for a Christmas you didn’t wish for, to those of you missing someone very special, to those that will force smiles and somehow find the strength to get through Christmas Day without your loved ones and with a shattered heart, I see you, I feel you, IContinue reading “Christmas”
PTSD
I always thought Post Traumatic Stress Disorder applied to those that had fought in a war. Brave soldiers that had witnessed unspeakable horror, seen their friends dying horrifically in front of their eyes and had experienced the constant threat of violence and fear of their own death. I never thought it could apply to me, untilContinue reading “PTSD”
December
Realising it was the first of December this morning was like a slap in the face. I thought I had been blocking out and avoiding everything Christmas related so well, but here it is, a reminder I can’t stop the passing of time no matter how much I want to. The run up to difficult,Continue reading “December”
Lies
I hate this picture. I love the message, but I hate the image. No we shouldn’t waste time, we’re foolish if we do, we should be aware of how precious it is, we should cherish our loved ones, we should make the most of our lives, we should value what’s really important and shun what’s not,Continue reading “Lies”
Grieving Muma 